I can see dust all over my blog. Hahaha. My (not so) latest post was on July, 2018. That was ages ago. I think the reason I thought about this blog was because recently, I've gone through hard times and wasn't able to speak it up to any living creature, and not that anyone will notice this post anyway but I think writing (well I mean typing) can make me feel better somehow. Well, not just recently I guess.

Starting from 2018, I've been going to rough times throughout the year up till today. So, it's really hard to lay my heart at peace and to believe that I achieved so much was a difficult thing to do. Maybe I was being too hard on myself, OCD is a bitch. It won't let me give credits to myself for my hardwork. Little things are achievement too. I notice, but maybe because I was after bigger things, I tend to let go of little things.

I missed how I always look forward to school, to what's going to happen everyday, to all the little things I enjoy while in school. It was complicated back then. I hate it when it comes to school holiday cause I have to go back home. Most of students can't wait to be back home, while me, were on the other side of the planet, can't wait to go back to school. I was in boarding school since high school & continue my studies further and further away from home. I think I spent more time at school/college (when my brain can start storing memories) rather than being at home and I enjoyed being away from home. Well, let's put the idea that way cause I'm not telling everything.

We'll go through different stages & phases in life. Not that I've lived long enough to talk about it, but I can tell you that growing up, was the most difficult phase of my life. Not as a person, but as a child. But I'm grateful, despite everything I've build my own character & personality, I am what I am today out of everything I have to carry on me, with me. For every tears I have to wipe for myself, I think I can't tell if someone is ever as protective as me towards myself. Sometimes selfish. I have to protect myself at all cost. Don't you?

                                                                                                                                        to be continue..